10th November 2021 Day 21

 Three weeks have gone since I got tipped over the edge. Three weeks so far, that people, unthinking and uncaring people, have taken away from me. 

Three weeks of my wife worrying sick about me whilst she fights to stay above water.

Whether I and others was actually bullied, or I'm just being a weary Willy of a bloke matters not. And time will be the judge.


Whatever occurred by the actions of others has put me and mine in the frightening situation we find ourselves in now. And yet "they" will have forgotten their actions by now and moved on. Living their normal everyday lives. While the lives of my wife and I have been indelibly marked. 


I try to remember at the end of every entry to remind readers to be kind and considerate to others. Not that anyone should need reminding. But alas some do. 

I do this in an effort to ensure that if I have written something that seems it's all about me me me. Then that has been inadvertent and the desired effect is to spread awareness of mental health issues and how close to the surface they actually are for so many people.


So this entry may seem like it's personal but think about it. When was the last time you overheard something being said without thought of its consequences. Or even when was the last time YOU said something without thinking the possible damage. We are almost all guilty. Myself being a past master at it . 


I've learned not to sugarcoat things because then they don't get dealt with. 

So.... I am now three weeks into a really shitty place. And my efforts to climb out over the past few days have been weakened by a bad cold. So have failed badly.

I'm scared of being absent from work too long. But I'm also scared of going back way too soon. My head stopped functioning correctly a while ago. So I triple check everything I think, do and say.

This is the world of an individual who is processing their Mental ILL Health in the best way they are able. 

You and I will all know someone doing the same. Right now....

Please be kind.


Cheers

Pete

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