25th October 2021 Day 5

 My beautiful wife is really feeling the strain this morning. She feels she's not doing enough. Not paying me enough attention. Not making me better. .. Regardless of how many times I tell her that she's doing everything she possibly can.


I've actually managed to book a doctor's call back for later today. So we'll see how that goes.


I must keep busy today. It's a kind of anti- climax after doing the market yesterday. My wife is very busy today. I won't really see her until about 9pm. The solitude can be frightening if I give in to it.  


Doctor has now signed me off for three weeks. I've asked to see him after two weeks for a review. I'm feeling guilty again for not going to work. Since the call I've sat and done sod all. I was going to be so proactive today. But I've let myself and every one down. Today I am not even trying!

I might've given in to it.  Which as I've already said is dangerous for me.. I don't know yet.


This entry can end here. Shit day. Lazy day. Long day. Sad day. Write it off and start again tomorrow. 🤞🤞


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