Living and working with anxiety and depression 22nd November 2021 Day 33 The one where I take a breather....

 You know when you look up at scaffolding on the outside of a building and the ladders go up a level at a time with a short walk on the flat platform between each set of ladders? Well today has been that short walk I think .


I know I'm travelling in the right direction but I've had a few good days now and today I didn't experience any sensations from either the black or white of me. The day just passed as nothing remarkable. 

Now here lies a danger.... When someone is trying to get back from depression, anxiety and whatever else traps our mind in that dark place, they can ,like I have recently, go through a run of days so positive that they are feeling euphoric and over confident. A bit like someone who believes their own hype. 


Then when they hit a day where they experience no notable signs of improvement to reaffirm their hopes things can begin to slide backwards again...


This is the reason those of us who travel this path don't allow ourselves to celebrate the plus's with such vigour as those around us. We have learned to keep our feet firmly on the ground. Because the "come down" is unconsolably crushing. I've experienced it previously on a number of occasions. But I am being extra vigilant this time round.


So please bear in mind when someone you know is going through a similar bad time of their own that they may not celebrate improvement in the manner you feel they should. They are merely being cautious.


Yes my day today has been ”flat". Which I do not see as bad. Just in the same way the improvements over recent days I have not celebrated as life changing..... 

The mindset needs to be nurtured back into place and too often this can be rushed. By taking on too much too soon.... I refer you to my previous entries concerning the trip to Cardiff.


I am pleased with myself at the end of today. I'm stood on that scaffolding platform, looking outward not down, aware that the safety rails aren't reliable, but that the way up is just a step away from me.

And only I choose when to take that step. 


Look out for each other.


Pete x

 

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