Living and working with anxiety and depression 29th December 2021 Day 69 The one where I start to talk to me the Psychotherapist / Counsellor.. Part 1.....

 The strange and possibly to some the inexplicable thing that occurred during this manifestation of my Achilles heel, was my ability to continue counselling clients throughout my episode. 

For me to have turned and spoken to the fourth wall so openly has been and will now forever be a risk. 

But it's one I'm glad to have taken. From the moment I started to commit my thoughts to written words I felt it was the right thing to do.

There was no wrestling with my conscience. No doubting my reasons. I wanted to do something helpful for others as well as myself. And it was a golden opportunity to try to fight the stigma of Mental ILL Health.

For years I've been a staunch advocate for victims of Mental Health issues to have a platform from which to talk openly. Especially in the workplace. So as soon as I got home on that day I knew I had an opportunity to make a difference. 

But I wrote my first couple of entries and posted them in a combined mood of rage, fear and passion.

It was after these I thought maybe I should run the whole idea past both my Counselling supervisor and my professional body the National Counselling Society.

A day later all was good and so long as I maintained a high level of awareness, professionalism and well managed consent I could continue. 

It was also very important that although the goal was to provoke discussion and thought regarding the Stigma of Mental ILL Health , my own personal wellbeing had to remain of highest priority.

So once I had committed my innermost thoughts and feelings to the dreaded world of the internet, what knock on effects might I experience?

Well for a start....

Judgement from people who don't know me

Judgement from people who do know me

Criticism

Loss of privacy

Possible loss of clients from my private practice

Disclosure of personal information

.......... But also.....

A platform to speak from

Encouragement to others

A positive outcome for my own experiences

Helping fellow sufferers to feel connected

A cathartic excercise for my own mental health

An opportunity to actually take on the Stigma

All these and many more flash through my mind every day over and over causing me to be both concerned and proud for my actions.

Now nearly three months on I am pleased to say that the risk paid off. The feedback I receive is apparently proving to be a real help to a small number of people who have contacted me personally, via others or via social media telling me their stories and asking me to continue.

I now explain to new clients that not only do I suffer from mental health issues but I talk about them to help others. And so far this has met with nothing but approval.

The confidentiality of my Counselling work is never called into question and in fact I have been involved in my best work to date whilst experiencing this "blip" in my Psyche.

How can this be so?...

I put it down to the manner in which I work and therefore the Humanistic Person Centred approach of Carl Rogers and my other heroes Carl Gustav Jung and Irvin D. Yalom. 

To simplify things if you come to me as a client,  each session YOU are THE most important person in the world to me. This allows me to focus on nothing but you and your story.

My own issues become secondary and out of mind. And yes that includes my nearest and dearest..... It's the role of a counsellor. 

This episode in my life came at what was my busiest time as a counsellor since I qualified over ten years ago. And I do suspect that I have lost a couple of clients through my public disclosure. But that's the risk I take.

Also another area that wasn't fully considered early enough was the effect on my wonderful wife. Faith.

We hadn't planned for the effect of her clients bringing up what they had read about me and how my illness impacted upon our relationship  in so many ways.

And admittedly in those early days this did prove very difficult for us to overcome. Especially as Faith tends to be a very private and shy person unlike myself.

Any way for now this will do. Part Deux may come tomorrow or anytime in the near future. 

Please keep your feedback coming in and I am grateful for your input.

Be nice...

Pete Thompson

Dip.Couns. MNCS (Accred)

Human being ...... Like everyone else!!