Living and working with anxiety and depression 6th December 2021 Day 47 The one where we win an important victory......

 As we have already seen on a few occasions over the past few weeks, the journey out of the dark place is a path littered with potholes.

And it's very easy to stumble into them when you can't see the way ahead clearly enough.

Those of us who battle with anxiety and depression know the routine only too well. And try to prepare ourselves best we can each time based on the lessons learned from previous episodes. 

But we still never quite manage it without picking up some new scars along the way.

So when a dip of the magnitude of yesterday occurs you are left fearing yet another "failed" escape attempt....

But I'm relieved to say that I won this time. Which is actually a very important victory at a crucial time in my recovery.

Another set back on this journey out, I think would have dealt more than a crushing blow to my determination. My will has been tested too many times in such a short time span. It's been a new experience for me fighting a seemingly continuous battle of light and dark on a daily basis. Rather than succumbing to one or the other for long periods of time before the next round.

Which in itself tells me I've been up for the fight. 

No... today I was able to reflect on yesterdays negativity and assign it to the scrapheap. Yes obviously it's left a mark to remember it by. But sod it! I threw a six and made it one square past the snake. And I've got another throw of the dice..

So today proved to be a more positive day than was expected when we went to bed last night.

All this tells me that I'm growing stronger. My will to survive and re-enter the world outside my bubble is still with me. And the couple of good days I'd had prior to yesterday's hiccup still count and played their part.

Not wanting to rain on the parade. I do need to take account of how the day went in total. And if I'm honest I'm still having problems with leaving the safety of home on my own. Today I had planned a trip alone to Kidderminster to have my hearing aids repaired. But I once again managed to procrastinate and put it off. But I suppose after yesterday I needed to keep a tight hold of all that is safe. And tomorrow is another day.

So on the whole I am doing Ok currently. Not taking steps that are too big and constantly being self aware . I need to challenge myself a little more than I am but I'm getting there. Which is good!

However, someone else you know won't be experiencing such positives and will be in destructive places that I have written about previously. 

If you have even the slightest concern about someone. Whether you know them or not. Just ask. Enter their world gently and with care. And ask if they're Ok. And lend an ear. You will make a huge difference to that person's day. I promise.

Peace and love

Pete x