Living and working with Anxiety and Depression. A persons battle with Mental ILL Health. Saturday 15th January 2022

 Doctor has signed me off until the end of January. But with the continued support I'm receiving I feel sure that I'll be back in the Day Job before then.

I've talked a lot about returning to the postal job and I sincerely hope this is my last Sick note. 

But how has this effected me as a Counsellor and Psychotherapist as well as a person?

To be totally honest it's caused me a hell of a lot of self reflection as well as professional reflection. 

It's one thing to wake every morning with a negative voice telling yourself that you're a fraud for not going to work. 

It's another to battle with those thought processes, overcome them and turn your mind to the lives of the clients who exist in your head at all times. Their issues. Their worries. Their battles. The vulnerabilities each of them have that you as their Counsellor will confront with them and walk with them to their new life.

To a counsellor, a client isn't just someone who comes to mind for an hour every week or two when they're about to arrive. 

Each client is paying for your skills and professionalism. 

Each client will be given living space in the Counsellors mind from the moment they meet for the first time until their relationship ends. And then occasionally thereafter. 

Whilst they have a room in the mind hotel the counsellor will refer their thoughts to each of them from time to time throughout every day and night. Reflecting on work done and work to do. Planning, considering, sometimes worrying, even feeling their pains. All this goes on in-between sessions. When there is a scheduled session due, the counsellor will turn their mind to the client probably a short while before their arrival. Then by the time they arrive the counsellor is switched on and fully present for the client until the door is closed and notes have been made.

A counsellor can have any number of clients  benefitting from this space depending on their working environment. 

Myself I recently hit my busiest period in ten years of private practice. I had nine wonderful clients at the height of my own personal battle. Each one of them bringing a different perspective on the world around us.

I have found continuing my Counselling practice through this tough period has been beneficial to not only myself but clients as well.

I've carried out some of my best work and seemed to find an even greater relational depth with which to communicate than previously. 

I am fiercely proud to be a counsellor and to carry the label "Mental Health professional". It took the best part of four years and a lot of money to gain the necessary qualifications all those years ago. 

I am now obsessively passionate about Mental Health on all levels and strongly believe that more could and should be taught in our education system from around ten years of age. Basic communication skills and Transactional Analysis would foster healthy minds in young adults and a more caring society. 

I feel that because of this passion and having combined it with the amazing support I've experienced personally, I have been driven to focus on my clients in this even deeper and more holistic way . 

I am emerging from another destructive episode of Anxiety and Depression and reaching new conclusions about myself whilst adapting to changes brought about to my personality, instead of fighting them .

My persona has always been one of suppressed fear and anxiety countered by overcompensating confrontation. 

In recent years a softer side has shown itself but an attitude of "you don't scare me" has always been present. 

Now I am just quiet, timid and fragile from time to time. The mind will take a while to rebuild. But I'm no longer interested in confrontation. I'm not going to mask my vulnerabilities anymore I'm just going to be ME! 

I've had a bloody good couple of days mainly due to the fact I've kept myself very busy in the Woodshed. Wrapped up against the current freeze I have being regaining my creativity and enjoying myself. And once again my humour is returning and my confidence growing. Today I've actually felt an excitement at the thought of returning to the Day Job. Instead of a sense of dread. This I put down to the near perfect manner in which I was welcomed into the office on Tuesday and shown respect and humility. I am very grateful.

Long may these changes in big business attitudes continue.

Be good and be kind.

Pete x