Living and working with Anxiety and Depression. A personal battle with Mental ILL Health. Friday 28th January 2022

 COURAGE.  RESPECT. SUPPORT. SELF AWARENESS....AND.... MORE COURAGE....

Highs and lows. This week has had them all with little break in-between.

I'm sitting here tonight having almost lost the plot at the start of the week to feeling a sense of control back in my life.

Meeting up with Men's Walk and Talk a week ago and again tonight has brought a new perspective to my life.

A collection of men who just seem to bond without effort because they share a common thread. 

Chatting and walking in a totally none judgemental environment where absolutely nothing is off the table when it comes to subject matter. It's revitalising to say the least. 

Thanks each and every one of you!

To managers, Union reps and colleagues at the Day Job who have shown respect and understanding towards me. You have either reached out or just let me be. This new quiet me. Sorry if I appear distant but it's how I am now. But to all of you thanks.

To those close to me who saw me at my worst and picked me up. Thanks.

To NEW friends, Thank you so very much for seeing something you like in this complicated person. Thanks.

To the special ones. Especially Faith, Sian, Liam, my treasured family. The two Lorraine's, Fiona, Biddy, Sharon, Cliona, Natalie and Dee, Jo and more thanks for everything. Some of the face to face conversations I've already had at work tell me what were doing is working. People who have openly talked about their own problems and experiences. Not only is this absolutely amazing to be witness to it is rewarding.

I am and always will be around for anyone who feels a need to talk.

I'm not out of the woods by a long way and life continues to be very scary to me and those in the same boat as me. 

But I will continue to fight the Stigma and do whatever I can with whoever will join me to raise Mental Health awareness. 

I'm turning a corner thanks to all of these individuals and I'm so bloody grateful.

When we get to this point we can go one of two ways. We can tread cautiously in everything we do. Living like the timid bird I've previously written about. Or we plough on regardless. Ignoring the triggers and thinking we are repaired.

Well too many times I've chosen the wrong way.

It's safest to learn and change rather than look for the next stumble.

I urge any fellow sufferers to think twice when they get to this crossroads. Especially if like me it's a disorder that haunts your life and therefore that of those around you.

Choose carefully and choose for everyone not just yourself.

It's highly likely you will experience more episodes while you're on this planet of ours before you say goodbye. So if you are unfortunate enough to be visited by the dog again or by any of its friends it's better to see them coming and prepare rather than let it be another shock to the system. 

People have said well meaning platitudes to you along the lines of "you've got this" and "you're stronger than this" but we all bloody know that when it comes calling again we're going to fall again and climb back up. It just won't feel like it at the time.

Please keep your messages and comments coming as we continue our fight to normalise conversation around mental health.

Be kind

Pete x