Living and working with anxiety and depression 2nd January 2022 Day 73

 

It's been a quiet day that we've both rather guiltily enjoyed. In fact it's done us some good although a sense of boredom did hover around us for a short time.
Days like today could previously have been bad news. A day spent reflecting trying not to fall into that same trap that welcomes the onset of depression is where I have been before.
But today my attitude is more productive than it has been of late and from the moment I wake I know I'm going to be tested today because we're still isolating and so even if we had plans we can't do anything.

I'd been up in the early hours, which has become a regular thing I must address. So when I woke in bed to see it was 10.30am I was surprised.
Currently Faith would sleep through an earthquake anytime night or day. Which is mostly attributable to the amount of worry she carries.
So it's gone 11am when we are actually up. But we chose to actually give ourselves a lazy day. So didn't dress other than in our "scaggin'" clothes and spent the rest of the day watching films and TV.
The extreme tiredness also has come about after weeks on weeks of not sleeping properly and therefore decimating each others sleeping patterns.
This we need to sort before returning to work.
However returning to the story. As I said previously a few weeks ago this kind of day would have a danger. It would have led to lethargy and boredom. Then guilt and recriminations creep in unannounced. And before you know it the black dog has entered the room and curled up in front of the fire.
But I'm pleased to say that today we took the time to chill and recharge.
Christmas came down on the 1st January as usually occurs and ended for us and we both want to look forward to the New Year.

For some reason my anxiety levels were increased today with butterflies the size of footballs in my chest. I don't know why but they danced around in there all day with my meds managing to take the edge off the experience. But at times I would inadvertently gasp for breath. This is new to me but I'll not dwell on it unless it continues...

By evening our healthy approach to lunch being a salad seems somewhat undone by the pizza delivery with all the trimmings.. And yes it was bloody lovely.
We've also received our PCR test results and thankfully they're both negative. So we're free.... Until the next one...

It's been a restful day and I'm losing count of the movies I've watched recently.

More tomorrow folks.
Be kind

Pete x

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